He’s not saying what he thinks he’s saying

A little more on Berenson v. Twitter, for those of you who are interested

I have a request for Twitter!

Can you please hire America’s Greatest Legal Analyst (TM) to help with the response to my lawsuit? He’s real smart-like, I promise you, and he’ll do a real good job.

He seems to be auditioning, too - he is now on Day Three of his Greatest Legal Analysis (For Free).

I especially liked the part where he said that your use of the word “must” - as in, for a tweet to be labeled as problematic it must be “demonstrably false or misleading… and… be likely to impact public safety” - was an “unforced error.” (Sure was, since my tweets were neither.)

Having the guy who thinks he’s defending you point out your mistakes is incredibly helpful. To me, anyway.

I also enjoyed the part where he said that Brandon Borrman - you remember Brandon, he’s the Twitter executive who told me all my tweets were copacetic - not once, but in writing three separate times over a 10-month period of MULTIPLE POLICY CHANGES - is “having some interesting conversations with in-house and outside counsel this holiday season.”

The best moment, though, is when he explained how awful your policies are - and then insisted they were legally sound. And I quote:

BY THE WAY: "if the government tells us it's false we're going to delete it and potentially ban you" is a TERRIBLE policy metric for Twitter to choose, one with a whole hell of a lot of negative externalities.

And the reality is more nuanced than that. But even if that was the whole of the policy, terrible as it would be: Twitter is a private actor! Private actors are free to choose terrible policy!

I have to thank him for summing up the heart of what your defense will likely be: We can do whatever we want whenever we want to whomever we want, no matter how many constitutional rights or state laws we violate, how many promises we break, and how many of our own stated policies we fail to follow, because Section 230.

We will see, li’l bird.

In the meantime, please hire him! He loves you, not wisely but too well. And it sounds like he needs the work.