Biden to China: We know Russia wants to invade Ukraine

China: Impossible! Hey, can you tell us EXACTLY how you know? Like the details of your classified imagery and human and signals intelligence? We just need to be sure, mmmkay?

The New York Times now reports "a half-dozen meetings” at which the United States gave intelligence about Russia’s plans for war to senior Chinese officials, who pretended they had no idea.

Senior American officials decided to present intelligence on the Russian troop buildup around Ukraine to senior Chinese officials to try to get them to persuade Mr. Putin to stand down…

Actual tape of the meetings:

US: Look, we’re telling you, we have access to all the Russian military networks, they’re doing this.

PRC: Oh wow, you guys are amazing! This is even better than all that gene editing technology from 2015.

US: Gene editing technology?

PRC: Never mind. ALL the networks? Like all of them?

US: I mean, we don’t want to give too much away, but - this is just between us, right?

PRC: Oh, yes, of course. Trust us, we don’t want war either. We believe in the territorial integrity of all nations, though not as much as we did a few years ago before we started building aircraft carriers.

US: Then yes, we can confirm, ALL the networks. Even the double-secret air-gapped one.

PRC: Hold on, we have to make a call.

—

Meanwhile, back in the real world, the Chinese were not just well aware of Bad Vlad’s plans, they were giving him suggestions for D-Day (anytime after the Winter Olympics, because Mao forbid the world not get to watch those in all their glory).

This level of genius is hard to imagine. It’s almost like the man supposedly in charge of the United States executive branch is in severe cognitive decline.

Just wait until Uncle Joe decides to share details of Israel’s plans to hit Iran’s nuclear facilities with the mullahs, just so Iran knows how serious Israel is!