URGENT: They knew it was a lab leak all along

And now, thanks to a couple of German newspapers, we know they knew

The American media is doing its best to ignore the biggest news this week.

Nope, not Covid’s fifth anniversary. You may have noticed that every legacy media outlet is reminding you it’s been exactly five years since the Little Epidemic That Could started its long chug into your lungs, or at least your upper respiratory tract.

In reality, they’re as wrong about the date as everything else Covid. People started getting sick in Wuhan in December 2019. Or was it November? Maybe even October? Whatever, the Chinese have made sure we’ll never know.

But it was March 11, 2020 when the World Health Organization declared a global pandemic - and the National Basketball Association postponed its season. You know it’s serious when the sportathons get turned off. The Dow Jones Industrial Average went down 1,200 points that day too.

Worst of all, Tom Hanks said he and his wife Rita Wilson had tested positive for Covid. Everyone’s favoritish movie star made the announcement on Instagram. His words turned out to be oddly prophetic in their matter-of-fact description of the great nonplague to follow: We felt a bit tired, like we had colds, and some body aches. Rita had some chills that came and went. Slight fevers too.

Slight fevers, you say? Better shut the world!

Anyway, here in ‘Merica, which as we all know is the only place that counted, March 11 is Covid Day (TM)! And it’s being celebrated, I mean commemorated, with articles like, “They Lost Someone to Covid. Here’s What They Learned About Grief.”

Because no one ever died before Covid. We were all immortal before March 11, 2020. How I miss those days.

But I digress.

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(I digress. But even the digressions are true. For less than 20 cents a day.)

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On Wednesday morning, as American outlets festooned themselves in Covid retrospectives, two big German newspapers - Zeit and Süddeutsche Zeitung¹ -broke some actual news.

Turns out in early 2020, Angela Merkel, Germany’s chancellor, took a break from her busy schedule of welcoming knife-wielding Afghan refugees to ask Germany’s intelligence agency, the BND², to figure out Covid’s origins.

You remember early 2020! The Science (TM) was very powerful back then. Dr. Anthony S. Fauci and Peter Daszak — a British zoologist Fauci had never met, except he had — were gently steering their fellow scientists towards a conclusion that Covid’s origins were 100 billion zillion percent natural.

By gently steering, I mean accusing anyone who even mentioned the weird coincidence that the epidemic started about 50 feet outside the world’s most prolific coronavirus research lab³ of committing thoughtcrimes against humanity.

The Fauci/Daszak campaign proved a success, thanks to the useful idiots in the American media, who were never more useful (to China) or more idiotic than in 2020.

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But the BND had its own sources. And the agency concluded with 80 percent to 95 percent certainty that the virus had in fact leaked from a Chinese lab. As a German press agency reported Wednesday, summarizing the Zeit/SZ articles:

The BND based its conclusion on the analysis of material from the public domain and that it collected in the course of an investigation with the code name "Saaremaa."

The material… indicated that there had been some risky research methods used there [at the Wuhan Institute of Virology, compounded by breaches of laboratory safety rules… [and] so-called gain-of-function experiments, in which viruses occurring in nature are manipulated [to become more dangerous or transmissible].

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(We can’t spell Wuflu without you!)

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So the BND took its damning conclusions to Chancellorina Merkel.

Who immediately told the world of the findings and demanded a full investigation into what China’s totalitarian government knew and when it knew it.

Nah, I’m funning you. Angela stuffed that report in a drawer and got back to doing what she did best, destroying Germany’s industrial base to make Greta Thunberg happy.

Why? Most likely the same tired reasons everything else happened in 2020, because the left-learning German government was afraid of China⁴ and didn’t want to do anything that might help Donald Trump.

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(Talking about the lab leak before it was cool.)

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After Merkel left office in 2021, the BND told her replacement, Olaf Scholz, “without the results finding their way to the public” — as the British newspaper The Telegraph delicately put it.

Now, thanks to what is sometimes called “reporting,” they have. The German government isn’t denying the articles, so there’s about a 100 to 100 percent chance they’re true.

The worst part is that we all sorta knew this already, right? Both the lab leak and the coverup.

But there’s knowing and there’s knowing. And it looks like the same American news outlets that spent 2020 and 2021 lying (or, at best, being hopelessly credulous) about China and Covid still aren’t ready to come clean.

Maybe for the 10th anniversary.

1. In English, Zeit means “Time,” while Süddeutsche Zeitung literally translates as “South German Newspaper.” The Bavarians make great cars, but no one ever accused them of being overly imaginative. Again I digress.

2. BND stands for Bundesnachrichtendienst, or “Federal Intelligence Service.” Aren’t you sorry you asked?

3. Or, as Jon Stewart famously told Stephen Colbert in 2021, “Oh, my God, there’s been an outbreak of chocolaty goodness near Hershey, Pa. What do you think happened?” Colbert, who is so woke he can barely breathe because he’s afraid he might be stealing oxygen from a DEI candidate who needs it more, was not amused.

4. In 2019, Merkel had reportedly suggested a spying moratorium on China — too bad for her it didn’t happen, then she never would have had to get the bad news from the BND at all.