The truth is…
Okay, we’ll just spit it out.
Your Dept. - and our Trusted Media Partners (TM) - have been looking forward to the Millionth Death (TM). We had all kinds of celebrations - we mean solemn remembrances - planned.
For example, Your Dept. has already been in touch with the families of all three healthy people under 40 who died of the thing. We’ve …