Attention citizens!

Your Dept. Of Pandemia has a confession to make

The truth is…

Okay, we’ll just spit it out.

Your Dept. - and our Trusted Media Partners (TM) - have been looking forward to the Millionth Death (TM). We had all kinds of celebrations - we mean solemn remembrances - planned.

For example, Your Dept. has already been in touch with the families of all three healthy people under 40 who died of the thing. We’ve …